Storm

Well there is a storm inside me right now.

I feel so depressed.

I feel so sad.

I feel really really terrible.

I feel unwanted. Undesired. Unneeded.

Everything was fine.

Until recently. Since a few days ago.

When i admitted to him that I miss him.

Is that the reason why  everything suddenly changed ?

He was always the one who initiate the text or the call. he never failed to do so every single day. For more than two months.

Until...
 recently.

We are not a couple.No we are not.

We are just friends.

And i am so used to the attention he showered me with,that I feel like something is missing these few days.And i think I have started to have feelings for him.Even before I told him I miss him.but of course I didn't tell him that I think I have feelings for him.I don't wanna freak him out.Apparently,saying 'I miss you' is enough to make him stay away.

I miss him so badly.

But i guess he doesn't care.

I am not going to text him.I don't want to be seen as clingy.or terhegeh-hegeh.or overly attached.

So I'm just gonna sit right here,vent everything out,and pretend that I am okay.

And I probably should move on too.

I will wait for week,and if he still isn't contacting me.Then i guess I would just have to let go.And take it as a sign that he doesn't need me anymore. Not even as a friend.

I hate feelings.I really do.

I don't want to fall in love ,ever. If this what it feels like.